A (single) woman's love.

God used a story to speak powerfully to me today, and I want to share it with you.

The story is the one about the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears, her jar of perfume, and her hair. Each Gospel account has a slightly different take on this story, but the basics are the same. Most think she was Mary of Bethany (Martha's sister). She entered this home that was likely full of men and proceeded to risk her dignity, her life, her respect, and her future on this simple extravagent act. She wept over his feet and broke her most prized posession and spilled it's contents over His feet, then washed them with her hair. Some things that are important to know about the context of this--1) She was cleaning the dirtiest part of his body, 2) Her perfume was one of the most expensive oils you could find during the time (worth more than any you could find today), 3) It was socially unacceptable for a woman to take her hair down like that, but most significantly for me is that this perfume was likely her dowry. If in fact she was Mary of Bethany, her parents were already dead, she probably hadn't been married, and her odds were not so good. What grips me about this is that, as a single woman likely hoping and longing for marriage one day, she completely surrendered her odds of marriage to Christ by breaking that alabastar jar and pouring out the contents over his feet. It seems so foolish--complete abandon. As a single woman who longs, probably more deeply than most other things in life (and I say that with the strongest hope that I don't come off as desperate), to be married and raise a family, this passage of scripture hits a deep place for me. I am learning day by day that marriage is a privelege. I am realizing that to love my Savior deeply--to be willing to lay my future down at his feet to the point of sacrifice--that this is enough. If I live my life single, it will not be miserable... I get to live life with Jesus. I get to die and live eternity with Jesus. That is enough to be excited about for the rest of my life. I just think of Mary and am humbled by how far from hers my heart is. It is reluctant to trust like that, fearful to sacrifice in such a complete way. It desires to control and have it's way... I pray for a heart of abandon like her's. I want to be willing to risk it all for him--my dignity, my pride, my safety, my future, my hopes, dreams, and deepest desires.